Happy Re-born day to me....and what a year it's been!
Last April, the company I work for got bought out which led to some spontaneous trips to the states for training (training is still ongoing almost a year later) With the training brought a lot of new changes at work (Also still ongoing)
Last July my lease in my apartment ran out so I moved to my sisters until I could find a place in winkler, closer to family, church and friends, the intent was to only crash there a couple weeks
Fast forward to last August; work was real busy and chaotic and stressful. I took a couple of my holiday days in August.
August 4 (second day of my holidays) I ran out of my sisters house after her dog, tripped/fell/slid when I lost my footing on a broken piece of sidewalk. I felt a pull and a lot of pain but it really didn't bruise or swell so I shrugged it off and limped around the rest of my week off.
The next weekend I went to the town fair, limped around all weekend there.
Went to work the following week, trying not to limp, trying to put hardly any weight on it.
I sat at my desk that first Monday back, feeling stressed all over again, I remember starting my day off before I even turned on my computer or any phones ringing praying to God that I just really needed a break...I didn't know when I'd ever get to take the rest of my holidays and I just really needed a break from work, a break from life really....(when you pray that deeply, it's important to be careful what you ask for....)
I worked the rest of that week, the guys at work kept hinting I should get my foot checked. I kept saying because it's my driving foot I had to believe it was just a bad sprain...
That Friday by the end of the day I could no longer feel my toes and my foot was tingling...ya okay I should probably get it checked out...
The shortened version....it took X-rays and a ct scan for them to finally find the problem
I went in Friday after work, Sunday I was called in to see a surgeon... They put me in a cast until they figured out what they were going to do. I had several medical professionals tell me this hospital had never seen this type of injury done so well. Having driven myself to the hospital I tried telling the surgeon I wasn't going to get casted because I drove...he explained what would happen to my leg and the rest of me if I didn't...cast it was!
So Aug 4 I hurt myself,
Aug 14 I finally get checked out
August 17 I'm in a cast
August 25 I'm called back in, they need to operate, I never broke bones somehow I dislocated my foot in 3 different places
August 26 -surgery day...a blog in itself... But they put 2 pins in my foot to realign my foot
A friend was nice enough to let me crash at her place til the worst of the pain was over so I wasn't having to do stairs. What a blessing that was
August 28 - I get an email from my sister my car got slammed with hail at her place
August 31 - my birthday, my church family surprised me with visits and love
About 2 weeks later I went back to my sisters and was laid up in bed with my foot elevated above my heart for the next 5-ish months...
A lot of those months are a big blur, but I do remember trying to figure out what God wanted me to get out of this horribly boring season. The one appointment I thought I was going to move on from cast to walking cast and I prayed that if I had gotten out of this season what I was meant to, I would move on to the walking cast... I got TWO more casts...why? What was I supposed to learn? Surely my life was about more than laying in a bed 90% of my day! Surely there was more purpose to my life than being so bored, just existing...
October 6 my pins came out of my foot...not an experience I care to repeat anytime soon (or ever) it hurt so bad I went into shock...very odd feeling to be aware of what you're doing but having no control....so pins are out, walking cast is on.... It may have taken just over a week before I could take the walking cast off to shower, between the pain, not having feeling in some spots and nerves waking up, just lifting foot out of cast was enough to make me feel like I was gonna pass out
It's safe to say I underestimated this injury. I also underestimated how disassociated a limb can become when not being used for so long. First couple weeks my exercises were to simply touch my foot, get it used to different sensations, that they wouldn't all cause pain
Spending so much time by myself really did a number on me...so grateful for the small handful of people that got me out of the house even a little bit at a time
November 9, I went back to work part time but that only lasted a couple weeks, work decided either I come back full time or not at all...back to sitting at home...
December really shook my world... 8th we lost my mom on the 10th work discontinued my short term disability because a note ran out (I only found out on the 24th when I didn't get paid, I had slightly other things on my mind than a Drs note that ran out)
I've lost several friends in high school but this was totally different, something I've never experienced (and hope I don't have to experience for awhile) I was physically sick - migraine, throwing up, muscle aches, could hardly think straight. My foot swelled double in size....I guess from the stress my body was under
So so thankful to the aunts and uncles that came and spent that week with us, and to my incredibly supportive church family. It's easy to overlook something you haven't been through before, when you can't relate, but having gone through it now, I hope to be a lot more sensitive to those around me that go through it.
I spent a lot of time laying in bed asking a lot of questions about my life and where I was at...so much time spent alone...so much time being wasted
But then I started to change my mindset, told myself to treat each day like the next day I was going back to work, embrace the fact I'm not stuck behind a desk while I'm not
In January my church had a 3 week prayer and fast; mine was less Facebook, more reading the Bible....that fast is one of the best things I've done! The more dedicated I got in reading the Bible, the more I started to pray, the more my days started to be days of me and God hanging out, he became such a big part of my day! Through this process chains have been broken, healings have begun, lost some friendships but also gained some. I spent a big part of my life wanting to please everyone, to be good enough... How rewarding it has been to learn that the only one I answer to is God...Daughter of a King
#stillgrowing
#stilllearning
#hesnotfinishedwithmeyet
#choosejoy
A week after my fast was up (still trying to keep up with regular prayer and reading after fast) I started putting a lot more weight on my foot. By December we'd tried weaning me off the walking cast but the loss of mom kinda set me back. So December and January more and more tried putting weight on my foot.
End of January I bought a car... Drove it on the driveway a bit then did a bit on the gravel road...a week later I registered it
February 3 I saw physiotherapist, started walking with crutches, handed them to her and walked (the best so far) down the hall to the back room. I enjoyed seeing her eyes all bugged out and her jaw dropped she couldn't believe how good I was walking. She figured I was ready to go back to work but now I needed to try to convince surgeon (I wasn't scheduled to see him for 3 more weeks) I got a call the next day asking if I wanted to come see him early... He looked shocked and confused! He'd expected is be out for another couple months yet!
My foot is still work in progress, physio every other week, working on my walk, getting my arch and calf muscle back and ankle movement.
But I'm driving and working, hopefully it won't take this much for Gid to get my attention again
Just in awe how quickly my season ended once I started spending more time with Him.
